Four Degrees of Love

I read a devotion this week, written by Bernard of Clairvaux (1090 – 1153). Bernard suggests there are four degrees, or levels of love that any person can have.

The first is that we love ourselves. This comes naturally to us all. We desire things that are referenced to ourselves. I would like to enjoy this, experience this, or avoid this. Perhaps the next version of this is to want to love those close to us – to give good gifts to our children.

In time we realise that we are not self-sufficient, not in control, and unable to fill our own tank. So, we turn to God and love him. But this God's love is still self-referenced. We seek God for the sake of self. We enjoy God when he answers our prayers and blesses us but feel hurt and abandoned when he may not.

Ideally, the process of walking with God – prayer, meditation upon his word, worship, and obedience – allows us to become familiar with God as a person. We come to love God for his sake – or who he is, without reference to self. Such love is a more stable and fulfilling relationship.

The fourth degree of love is rare and momentary, according to Bernard. It is the state of loving self, for God’s sake. It is a moment where, without thinking of self, we catch a glimpse of ourselves as lovable, not for selfish reasons, but because God has chosen to graciously incorporate us somehow into his plans that glorify himself.

I can’t help but think that the church is long pervaded by level 2 Christians. In part because we are selfish by nature. But also partly because preachers announce a gospel where God exists to bless humanity. It’s a more appealing message.

It may be that if you feel God is illusive or distant, it might be time to grow up in the love of him.